YOUAREARIOT VISITS THE RALPH STATUE

By TriviaQueen2

Narrator: (Jack Lescoulie) You know, Xmas is, well its about the best time of the whole year. You walk down the street even for weeks before Xmas comes and there’s lights hanging up….green ones and red ones. Sometimes there’s snow. Everybody’s hustling someplace. And speaking of hustling, it’s here, in mid-town Manhattan, that we find several members of the Youareariot club being hustled out of the Olive Garden Restaurant……by the manager.

Krammar: Gee, I don’t know why they got so bent out of shape for. I was just trying to get everybody into the Xmas spirit.

Haminahamina: Somehow I don’t think their idea of Xmas spirit is you playing "Jingle Bells" on the water glasses.

Krammar: What do they expect me to play at Xmas time? "Claves For Mambo"?

TQ2: Alright, alright! It’s gonna be dark soon and its not good for us to be out late these days. Let’s hurry up and find THE STATUE. Ceal, you were here before. Do you remember where it is?

Haminahamina: Sure, everybody follow me.

Buttercup: Hey, I thought I was running this trip.

How Sweet It Is: Oh, pipe down. You men are only in town for the holidays. You’re nothing but privates on this excursion. So don’t say anything.

Buttercup: Hooooo, would I like to…….

Haminahamina: It should be right around here somewhere.

Nosey: All I see is that group of unsavory looking characters sitting around and…..oh no! Look what they’ve done to the statue!

(A bunch of rude New Yorkers is hanging all over the statue. Their belongings are strewn around it as well as a lot of garbage, etc.)

Haminahamina: Krammar, Buttercup, ask them to get out of the way for a minute.

Krammar: Oh no. We’re just privates. We can’t say anything.

Haminahamina: Hahaha ya dirty.……..

TQ2: Uh, excuse us. Would you mind getting up for a minute?

Rude New Yorker #1: What da hell for?

TQ2: Well, we’d like to get a better view of this statue. You see …..

Rude New Yorker #2: Beat it you creeps.

Buttercup: What a bunch of no class guys.

TQ2: Well, I wouldn’t say they’re ALL no class guys. The tattooed bald one wearing the dog collar over there is a girl.

Nosey: But we just want to take a few pictures.

Rude New Yorker #1: Well go ahead. Who’s stopping ya?

Rude New Yorker #2: Yeah, go ahead. Come on everybody. We’re gonna get our pictures took. Everybody wit more den 4 teeth, come on up front here. OK girlie, snap away.

How Sweet It Is: Couldn’t we just get a picture of the statue all by itself? It’s for our club.

Rude New Yorker #3: What club?

How Sweet It Is: The Yahoo Youareariot club. We want to put a picture of the statue on our website and……..

Rude New Yorker #2: Oh boy. Did ya hear dat everybody? We’re gonna be on da Internet.

Krammar: Ok now folks, I’m asking you nicely to move just for a minute. Where’s your Xmas spirit?

Rude New Yorker #2: Oh, you want some Xmas spirit? Well, why didn’t you say so? OK. Let’s play Rudolph da Red Nosed Reindeer. I’ll be Santy Claus and you be Rudolph. OK Rudolph, get ready for your big red nose.

(Rude New Yorker #2 grabs Krammar by his collar and lifts him into the air)

Krammar: HOYGAAAAAAAAAH!

Buttercup: Hey you, put him down!

Rude New Yorker #2: Who’s gonna make me?

Joyce Randolph: I AM!

Youareariot club: Miss Randolph?

Joyce Randolph: I thought I told you punks last week to stay away from this statue. Now put that guy down, clean up this mess and clear out of here.

Rude New Yorkers: Yes M’am.

(The rude New Yorkers pack up and scurry away)

Haminahamina: Gee, Miss Randolph. Is it really you?

Joyce Randolph: Why sure it is sweetie.

Haminahamina: Wow. Did you hear that? Joyce Randolph called me sweetie.

Buttercup: Well, what did you want her to call you, lover lips?

Haminahamina: Bang…..zoom!

Krammar: How ‘bout a few pictures Miss Randolph?

Joyce Randolph: By all means. Anything for fans of the show.

Krammar: OK, girls. Get a shot of me and Buttercup with our arms around Miss Randolph here and make sure you get the statue in too.

Buttercup: How does this look? Does this look natural?

Nosey: Oh, you’re gonna get a shot alright!

Joyce Randolph: Come on now, don’t fight. You can all take turns and take as many pictures as you want.

TQ2: Can we have your autograph too?

Joyce Randolph: Of course you can.

How Sweet It Is: Boy, you’re the greatest Miss Randolph.

Joyce Randolph: Oh, its you fans who are great. Its just wonderful that so many people remember the show. Jackie and Audrey would be so proud and I know Art will really appreciate it and….if I stay here any longer I may cry.

Haminahamina: Miss Randolph, I hereby make you an honorary member of the Yahoo Youariotclub.

Joyce Randolph: How sweet! Well, I’ve got some last minute Christmas shopping to do so I’ve really got to go. It was a pleasure meeting all of you.

Nosey: Same here. Happy yuletide, Miss Randolph…and Miss Randolph?

Joyce Randolph: Yes?

Youareariot: THANKS FOR EEEEEEEEVERYTHING!

The End

Haminahamina: Wait a minute. We don’t usually step out of character like this but………

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